No pain, no gain

I've never been the "sort" to pamper myself at the beauty parlour. In the last few months though with holidays and stuff, I have tried out a few little treatments.

Tonight I am going to a Gala Dinner at the Prestonfield hotel in Edinburgh. I visited their website to find out how to get there and it has co-ordinates for landing on their bloody helipad. Our helicopter is on the yacht at the moment so we'll be arriving by car!!!

So armed with this "it's gonna be a posh one" I have decided to indulge in some spa treatments this afternoon, a manicure, pedicure, a mini facial and a "wrap" to lost some inches. Since I have piled on the weight during the last few months it's definitely a case of "turd polishing".

Before I went on holiday in July, I had a fake bake spray tan. God it was hilarious. This lovely girl popped round to my house, I had to strip naked (bar from a g-string), I turned away for a minute, turned back and there was this huge pop up tent in the kitchen, since you don't want to be spraying the walls with fake tan. Now normally you have to wear self adhesive "sole" protectors on the feet to stop the tan from covering the underside of your feet. Well she'd run out of these so she handed me two sanitary towels to stick on my feet. So you can imagine the scene eh? After I stopped laughing she got me to stand in the tent and then sprayed me all over. I then stood chatting to her, almost naked covered in brown fake tan writing her a cheque, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Alex took one look at me and said "you look weird Mummy" I then had to sleep in the gunk and shower it off the following day, it did look good in the end though.

I also got my eyebrows "threaded" at Debenhams in Edinburgh. I was wandering through the cosmetics hall with Alex and spotted it . For those of you who don't know, "threading" is a way of removing hair using a twisted cotton thread, the majority of people who do it are Indian or Middle Eastern.

So I sat down in the chair right in the middle of Debenhams and the girl, who incidentally had NO sense of humour, took one look at me and said "you want upper lip doing too?" ERR "no thanks" I replied, then I said "aw go on then". BIG mistake, HUGE! OHHH the pain, forget childbirth, when someone is ripping hair out round your lip with a bit of cotton, the pain is awful. I got the giggles and had to get her to stop a couple of times, I said "oh I need you to stop a minute, it's very sore" I sat up and I'd drawn quite a crowd, most of whom were laughing! Eventually I got through the ordeal and I felt a lot better.

I am hoping today's treatment will be a lot less traumatic, wish me luck!