Skin of My Teeth

I am a "I have to be there half an hour before time" type of gal for anything..........

So...................................... I got to Manchester airport for my 7:30pm flight tonight at 5:30pm , I check in ON MY OWN WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM MY HUSBAND ACTUALLY!!!! and the check in girl says "oh, actually your flight is delayed until 10:30pm, sorry"

Normally I would have been really stressed about this, but I have a lot of work to do, had a pass for the FlyBe lounge (with FREE WINE by the way!!) so I made my way there settled myself into a desk and started work on my laptop. At this point I was sitting next to a guy who was literally coughing up a lung without covering his mouth and I am hoping I am not going to catch it .

So I casually sauntered over to the departures monitor at about 7:30pm and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK OH MY GOD my flight is ready to go LIKE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAST CALL

The lady in the lounge rang the departure gate and told them I was on my way, she then said "oh God the gate is miles away"

I stuffed my laptop into my bag and ran out, and a bloke who was leaving said " it's your own fault for playing on your laptop" So, I shouted at him " they told me my flight was delayed until 10:30 you ARSEHOLE"

I am sure that he wouldn't have said that if I had been a bloke, actually if I had 2 seconds more I would have punched him, I mean what sort of bloke gets off taunting a complete female stranger for almost missing a flight?

OK , let me just tell you, I DON'T RUN, especially carrying 2 laptops , but I LEGGED it and just made it. I almost had a heart attack, it took me 10 mins to calm down on the plane.

Now home and safe, phew!

Ta Muchly

Well I am back to normal, well as normal as I can be!

Thanks for your lovely comments and emails, I am very humbled and I promise not to be indulging myself too often any longer.

I am in Cheshire for 24 hours, I flew down this morning (my arms are killing me!) meetings at work and seeing all my lovely team member pals.

Other than that, very little to report actually................erm..................?? Nope..... I got nothing for ya today dudes, kinda defeats the object of a blog when you write about having nothing to write about eh? Soz...... be back soonish xxx

Welcome to the Pity Party

Sheeesh, crappy weekend...............

I have had a "why me?"/"it's not fair"/"I look like shit"/"I am fat" totally mad mood swing raging time of it over the last 24 hours. I have wept, shouted, thrown things and generally been a complete cow.

Added to that I have heartburn, flatulence , constipation, raging thirst, and up 4 times a night for a wee/Gaviscon. Call Dynarod!

I hate my effing wig, I hate my bald head and I am indulging in a complete funk.

I know, I KNOW, I KNOW , I am lucky!!!! Physically I have been very very lucky, ditto with the prognosis, I could be in a far, far worse place.................

Still,emotionally, I am struggling a wee bit, thanks Cancer, thanks a lot.........................you suck and I want my normal life back.

Just "stuff"

Last night I went to the first meeting of our Book Club. We read "The Book Thief" which I chose. I quite liked the book, though opinion was slightly divided, since it's not exactly a chuckle a minute being set in Germany in WWII!

Anyway we had a laugh when we weren't being all cerebral about the book n'all. I made cupcakes and no-one died after eating them (bonus!)

Good thing is, I am feeling good again today. The chemo is really being kind to me- hurrah!

Took Alex into school on the bus this morning,thought I would leave the car at home for a chance. So we get on the bus and I  put my fiver in the bus ticket machine and the driver said (wait till you hear this!!) "I can't accept that note as I didn't check it first"

AY??? It's 7:45am, the school run, do I look like a master forger to you . I didn't say that but stood there flummoxed, not knowing if I had another fiver in my purse in change, so I said "well can't you just like pretend you checked it ?" He replied, "I have CCTV on this bus, why would I want to do that?"

Have you ever wanted to punch someone for being such an arsey jobsworth? No wonder they sit behind glass!!! So I fed in another 5 quid in assorted change to get our tickets, I should have asked him if he wanted to bite each coin just in case!!!

He wrote me out a "chit" to go and claim the money back, but my parting shot as I went up the stairs in a big voice was "Jesus Wept!!" (Sorry for the blasphemy but I ask you!!).

I spent most of the day dawdling round town, Alan and I are off to a 1920's murder mystery night tomorrow, so I needed to buy a few bits and pieces for our outfits. Alan is Alan Capone and I am Carrie Crooner Capone, I'll be sure to post up some pics of us in our finery. 

I went to the National Gallery and saw the Titians , I decided to have lunch £10!!! for half an inch of soup and a tiddly sarnie, OK so the surroundings were nice but I think I have paid my share of the Titian bill ta very muchly!

Finished another mag project for CB this week, I AM doing well for me. My newly tidied craft room is making things a little easier, I am dying to get my hands on some of the new CHA releases once they wing their way across the pond - can't wait!

Tickety Boo

Gosh, this ere new chemo drug ain't half bad ya know. Had a day off from work today so I could lounge about cos I did feel rather tired, but now the steroids have kicked in I feel fine, It's much more manageable than the crap I was taking for the first 4 treatments. So that's me, only 3 more to go.

I am really humbled by the good messages on my blog, on Twitter ( the BBC Technology Correspondent sent me a direct message to wish me luck yesterday!!! I was thrilled), Facebook and email, it's just brill and I thank you all.

For those of you who asked about my magazine holder in my craft room, it was from Matalan a while back. Also let it be said my room isn't always THAT tidy, but since I work here most days and can't abide mess I do my best to keep it tidy as much as I can.

TTFN
p.s we didn't get any real snow up here, a couple of poncey millimetres fell this afternoon, what a dissapointment!

Greyfriars Bobby

Chemo 5 today, and so far so good. I am on a new drug now called CMF (You're Unbelievable) oh no that's EMF , that's a bad joke I know.

Alan has been away in Paris, he was supposed to go via London yesterday morning but it was shut! So he managed to fly from Edinburgh to gay Paree last night and flight back to Heathrow was cancelled tonight, so he just made it home hurrah!!

Father in law and dog have been over to look after me/school run, which has been a great help, the dog came too. Very faithful dog, hence the reference to Greyfriars Bobby.

I went up to bed last night and discovered a wet patch on office floor. It was chucking it down with rain so I looked up thinking there was a leak. Yep there was a leak , from the flippin' dog!! It had piddled on the floor grrrrrrrrr.

Anyway, off to bed now, hoping that I don't get any yuckky side effects, wish me luck!

On the subject of wigs

OK two posts in one day ho ho!!

Last week my blog was a bit on the quiet side as I was away with work, visiting my chums down in Cheshire. I was very well looked after by my BF Janey and her husband who took one look at my bald bonce and started doing impressions of the martians on the Smash advert from waaaayyy back. His new name for me is "Smashy" (cheers Paul!!)

Any - hoo, it was the first time my workmates had seen my wig, now these dudes have known me for years and speak their minds. Consensus seemed to be that my wig was a bit, well ,....."wiggy". I had convinced myself that it looked OK (ish). The "wiggy-ness" was further confirmed by the "is she wearing a wig?" looks I kept getting in the restaurant at work which really started to get on my nerves. I was on the verge of making a big badge which said "yes it's a bloody wig OKAY!!!!!"

Most people up in Edinburgh have been like "Oooohhhh a wig??? You're wearing a wig??NOOOOOO I would never have known" Sheesh, so now I am not sure whether I look like a total joke or reasonably OK, bloody hell..........

The other thing about said wig, is that it has to be washed, it certainly gives new meaning to "I can't come out tonight cos I am washing my hair" when you have a wig to wash, that is actually true! When I bought the wig I also bought some "special" shampoo and conditioner. The conditioner smells a bit familiar, I swear I bought Lenor !!!

I bought a scarf since the wig is now getting me down, I wore it on the drive home from Cheshire ( all 4 hours of it.....) . Now a scarf evokes more looks from people, but they tend to be more "awwwww she's got/had cancer" rather than "you look like a FREAK" so it's great for the sympathy vote. In fact a guy who looked like he was on parole, almost broke his neck opening a door for me....................So now my dilemma every morning is what to wear on my head.

Ah well Chemo numero 5 for me tomorrow, fingers crossed for no horrid side effects, I'll keep you posted.

My Craft Room

Well, I have finally tidied my craft room/office and so I thought I would share my pictures and ideas with you. My room has a dual purpose, and is split into two halves.

This half is my crafty half ......

This is my work half, since I do my "real" job from home.

This is my desk, loving my MM Carousel, I have containers for most often used bits, glues, double sided tape etc, plus my daylight lamp.

I love my storage. I have an Expedit "type" unit and in the baskets and boxes I store blank cards, tools, stamps, punches and stickers and rub ons.

My clear stamp storage basket.

I love my cupboard!!!! It was here when we moved in, I house lots of stuff in here, Cricut carts, magazines, ribbons, brads, buttons.....

Chipboard in a basket and clear buckets full of blooms.





All this storage is from IKEA, tall glass jars for ribbons and small spice jars for buttons and brads, alll colour grouped.

All my inks and other stamping supplies are housed in the cupboard below the shelves.

My other cupboard. On top I have drawers for my paper scraps, and on top my Cricut Expression.

In the cupboard I have all my paper and card, die cutting stuff, Big Shot and all my "colouring" suppplies, markers, chalks, pencils. The trimmers get stuffed underneath!!!

I use a magazine holder for all my small paper pads

I feel a whole lot more organised now, hope you like it!

Craftology

ooohhhh I went to a fab shop yesterday, Craftology in Glasgow. WOW!! I can't believe I have been up her for 9 months and hadn't been before WOWSER!!!!!

I have been missing visiting a proper shop for my crafty supplies, most of my shopping has been online lately,nowt wrong with that at all but to visit a real shop full of the most GORGEOUS stuff was such a treat. I "clocked" Craftology at the last exhibition at the SECC, but just wasn't prepared for the sheer size and gorgeousness of the place. It's massive and packed to the rafters with good stuff, masses of Bazzill ,Coredinations and patterned paper. I'll be back as they say.

I rounded off my shopping with a quick trip to IKEA to buy some storage for my craft room, I have become totally anally retentive about my craft room, it's almost done and I will be taking lots of pics and posting really soon. I am off to Cheshire tomorrow for a work trip , four days away to see my lovely work mates yay!!!! Better, go, I have to pack!

Just Create Dammit!!!!

Despite the fact I design for craft magazines, I want to let you into a little secret.....I find the creative process quite difficult. OOOOOOOKKKKKAAAAAYYYY BIG admission huh?

Quite often I lose my mojo and apart from my mag work ,my output isn't what you could call prolific.

I used to go to crops and sit there completely lost with no focus, I dragged stacks of stuff with me and then end up making the tea whilst other peeps rattled off two or three layouts.

Magazine projects usually take me a while because I agonise over what supplies to use and whether my editors will like the stuff I send - or just show them to the rest of the staff saying "look at this loada pants Currie has churned out this month!!!!".

I think I know the reason why the whole process takes so long. I am disorganised, my craft room is stocked up with lots of stuff I don't use anymore and so I can't see the woods for the trees when I come to choose supplies to use. Plus my whole system isn't working, I had stamping stuff and papers in lots of different places.

I had a Eureka! moment the other night reading a book called "The Organised and Inspired Scrapbooker", quite apart from drooling over the studios, the book is very useful. I actually think looking at other peoples gorge studios is like stash porn. Any-hoo I am not much of a scrapbooker, I am a card maker as you know, but this book is lovely, buy it if you can.

So I have spent some time over the last few days, reorganising all my stuff into more logical order and purging the old. I am not quite done yet, but I am getting there slowly, once I am there I'll be sharing pics and tips.

Last night I sorted my Bazzill and patterned paper, Alan managed to launch a full Cropper Hopper worth of papers down the stairs helping me (sheesh!) Anyway I had taken delivery of 3 new Cropper Hopper 12x12 paper holders courtesy of Sarahs Cards yesterday so all my paper is now organised.

I have 3 deadlines looming so last night I thought I would make a start on one at 10pm, and whaddya know? By 1:30 this morning I had done the whole project, I am totally knackered but so happy I got such a creative spurt, long may it continue.

On another note all together, check out this website, you'll need a Tena Lady by the end of it (caution - swearing...) http://www.peoplewhodeserveit.com/

Joe Cool

How cool is Barack Obama? It was so exciting to see the inaugaration yesterday, I know I am a real sap, but I really did feel like I was watching history happen. I dragged Alex in front of the 6 o'clock news to watch. He lasted 20 seconds "Mum, I'm going, the Pink Panther is on......".

As for me, well I feel a whole lot better, back to fighting fit again since Monday, long may it continue, thanks for all your kind wishes xxx

Kate, The Pilot and Feeling Like Poo

"OH HO!! Chemo....ay?? Bring it on, I can handle it, feeling great, life going on as normal, what's all the fuss about"

That was pretty much my take on the whole treatment thang until this week. I feel like crap! No energy and evil mood swings due to the whole "let's take your periods away and start you on the menopause girly". Alan doesn't know what to do with me, I am alternating between Uncle Fester lying on the sofa to snarling, spitting baldy wife. Yesterday I spent a good half hour walking round the kitchen sobbing and sniffling, not knowing "what to do with myself". Everything was crap and Alan doesn't really "do" hysterics bless him.

Part of my sadness has been caused by thinking about Mum and Dad, boy do I miss them.It's at times like these when you need the old unconditional love that parents can show you. I need a hug from my Mum for sure, but it ain't going to happen.

Nothing made me feel better yesterday, in the end I found something to interest me on the TV and spent a couple of hours watching the re-run of The Golden Globes. Cor what an event, not the best thing to watch to crank up the self esteem when you are bald and bloated, but I still enjoyed it. The place was wall to wall celebs and glam, the dresses! the hair! I would give my right arm and possibly my left to be there and glammed up like that. Several years ago, my pal was nominated for an Oscar (yep really) I like to live vicariously through the success of some of my glam mates. He said it was the most terrifying night of his life, everywhere he looked there were "A"-Listers and he did not want to win as he would have to get up on stage.

I would like to stand up for Kate Winslett, I thought her speech was brill! I lovd the "gather" bit LOL!!

Our Kate has been lady in waiting "awards -wise" for several years , blow me she goes and wins two! Of course then the press jump all over her for being over - dramatic, she's an actress for God's sake, that's her job, DOH! Let's celebrate the fact that she is British arrgggghh!!!!! I am a bit of a Kate fan, can you tell?

Talking of good news, what about the pilot who averted disaster in New York this week?I was listening to the Jeremy Vine show on Friday and some ARSE rang in, huffing and puffing saying "this pilot should not be called a hero, he trains for situations like this, he was just doing his job" Arrggggh!! what did the guy have to do to be a hero, land blindfolded with one arm tied behind his back.......Good news, it seems to be wasted on many, don't you think?

Bit More Digi

I have to admit I am a bit of a digi-holic, I drool over digi kits , download them (cos they are very cheap) and then..........well I let them sit and do nothing with them.

So here I am sitting with my laptop on my knee, I had just a handful of old kits on this machine and a couple of pics so here's what I made. It's not brillo, it only took me 10 mins but here it is any-hoo.

Back At It

Well the chemo has hit me harder this time for sure, not exactly feeling hideous, but a bit low on energy, didn't sleep well last night with heartburn and hot flushes ick!

Never mind, today I got delivery of some new stash for my crafting, some yummo goodies from Craftwork Cards, Doodlebug and.........the new Hero Arts catalogue. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE Hero Arts. Their products are totally gorge and their designers just come up with the goods every year. 

Also, I have decided to put to use one of the ten million digi kits I have purchased to make a card, I've gone hybrid.  Sorry this pic isn't cropped and purty.

Before I made this card, I was a bit sceptical about the quality of the printed images but, with my trusty colour printer, not a posh one either, it seemed to come out fine. 

If you have ever used digital scrapbooking stuff before, it is sized for 12x12 scrapbooking rather than cardmaking. 

What I did was to  create a new file in Photoshop sized at A4  or whatever you use and dragged the elements I wanted onto the page. I then resized the elements and filled  the sheet. I then printed the sheet and cut out what I need, the cutting is quite theraputic actually! The same goes for any patterned paper, resize the images to make the patterns smaller for your cards.

Anyway I thought I would share, since this is supposed to be a "crafty blog" eh?

Frugal Cooking

I have been reading the most fabulous books, called Nella Last's War and I am now reading Nella Last's Peace. You might have heard of a one off TV drama with Victoria Wood in it called "Housewife , 49" well it was based on the first of the books.

During the war there was an experiment called "Mass Observation", people were invited to write diaries and send them in to share in their wartime experiences. Nella lived in Barrow -In -Furness and wrote her diary from 1939 till her death in 1968. The diaries were written on bits of paper and she would bundle them up and send them off every month or so. The diaries have been edited and published and if you did see "Housewife, 49" I urge you to read the books as the TV programme really only scratches the surface.

Anyway Nella writes very often of the meals she made during the war, she was a genius with the old rations and it is very interesting. So decided to search online for some wartime recipes, I just had to share this one with you, it sounds like a VIZ top tip, it's hysterical........


Mock Duck
Ingredients
2 lb Sausage meat
1 lb Cooking Apples, peeled and grated
1 lb Onions grated
1 tsp dry Sage
Method
Spread half the sausage meat into a well-greased baking tray or casserole
dish.
Top with the grated apple, onion and sage.
Add the rest of the sausage meat and shape the top layer to look like a
Duck.
Cover with well-greased baking paper and bake in the centre of a
moderate oven for 45 minutes.

I have a number of points to make about this
1. If you are gagging to eat duck, this ain't going to fool you!
2. How in the name of all that is holy do you "shape the top layer to look like a duck"
3. If you really were that mad for duck just go visit the local pond and bag yourself one....
4. Let's pray the recession doesn't make us all plumb these depths

Pull Up A Chair

Well I have succumbed to the Chemo fatigue and I am in bed taking it easy. Feeling slightly better than yesterday but still tired so I though I would have a duvet day.

We went to Centre Parcs in Penrith at the weekend, it was a welcome break out of Edinburgh for a few days. Saturday it was freeeeeeeezin' lots of left over snow and lovely trees, it was like Narnia. My sense of direction is usually pretty good, but I kept getting lost like a total dimbo. Everywhere looked the bloody same, trees, lodges, trees, lodges.

We went out on our bikes, Alex had a complete melt down having realised his bike brakes don't work too welll. He fell of his bike a couple of times and bitched and moaned for ages, can't think where he gets that from ahem!!! It culminated in a total tear stained temper tantrum, he threw his bike down saying " I hate this bike and I am never going to ride it again" whilst I stood by wetting myself laughing, I know, it's mean but he was off the scale.

The park was full of people who probably haven't sat on a bike in months/years and were still suffering from post Christmas excesses, I being one of them.

Chemo meant that the fabbo swimming pool was out of bounds due to the infection risk, as too was the gloriously appointed Aqua Sana spa pools and steam rooms....bummer.

I was able to indulge in a manicure, don't wish to be unkind but the manicurist was spectacularly fick! I had to fill in a questionnaire, about my medical status. Up until now I have always been able to tick all the "no" boxes. This time I had to tick the surgery and chemo boxes. So she asks what cancer I have had, when I told her she said "ohhh my Nan died of that when she was 50 , it just kept coming back" gee thanks kid. She didn't know what a mammogram was either....guess we won't see her on Mastermind any time soon.

On Sunday it poured with rain and we had booked Alex on a pony trek. We spent an hour trudging through horse poo and mud! Later on in the day I had booked a facial. It was booked for 5:30pm and it was cold, dark and lashing with rain. The only mode of transport available is shanks' pony or a push bike. So I set off on my bike wearing rain jacket, wig and hood. By the time I arrived at the spa I was sweating like god knows what , I had to change into a robe and wait for my therapist. I was waiting and a dreaded hot flush came over me, I soooo wanted to rip off my wig and fan myself and as soon as I got into the treatment room I did! The therapist got quite a shock.

So all back home now and chemo number 4 was yesterday, I felt rather sick all the way through and very tired too, thank goodness that was the last of the Epirubicin, my next concoction is CMF which is apparently a lot milder.

My hair is starting to grow back, bizzarely, it's not a great colour though. I was "fake" blonde and whatever is coming back is a mix of dark and what seems to be white!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG badger head here I come. I am not allowed any hair colouring treatments to be done until 6 months after the end of treatment either. My wig is getting on my nerves now, I think it might be time for a scarf, although I have always avoided them since I think it looks more like you are having chemo.

I have become addicted to Twitter and have found a great blog written by a very funny 29 year old lady, she is undergoing treatment for cancer and she swears like a trooper so be warned if you are of a delicate sensibility (I'm not) you can find her here http://alrighttit.blogspot.com/

Magazine wise I am currently very busy working on 3 projects , bless my editors for still wanting me. I have spent hours trying to decide what products I need to buy, if you have any suggestions or would like to donate lovely stash for me to play with - don't hold back ha ha!!

Right too knackered to write any more, back to land of nod...

Feeling a bit yucky

Chemo Number 4 was today and I have to admit to feeling a bit yucky. Tired and and feeling a wee bit sick.

Oh yeah and since chemo can induce early menopause I have been having random hot flushes at night and during the day....they are not nice. It's not too bad when you are at home, wig and clothes get removed (not ALL clothes obv.) but not good when you are right.

Looking on the bright side though, I am now half way through my treatment AND this was the last of the yucky strong ones- phew!

Off to bed now, hope to feel better in the morning.

Shop Rage

Almost got shop rage today!! For the second time in two weeks I was behind someone in a shop queue and as they were getting served they spent the whole time talking on their mobile phone.

The first time was in M&S and the shop assistant was almost purple with rage. The perpetrator of this rude act was quite frankly not the most attractive, svelte or fashion savvy individual on earth either ( I know that's not kind of me!!!). 

Today it happened again in Monsoon whilst I was buying a couple of hats, same deal, same kind of physical appearance and I wanted to SMACK HER IN THE GOB!!!!! As she walked away I said "HOW RUDE" actually cos I am a coward and she was about 3 times bigger than me I didn't say it too loud as she looked like she could turn violent.

Bad manners really make my blood boil, I mean it was just outrageous. Don't get me started on people who drop litter either, talk about red mist!

Aaaaand relaaaaaaaaaax...............phew.

I couldn't try the damn hats on cos of the wig situation, I didn't fancy faffing about with the hat I already had on and the wig so I just bought two hats. One of them is fine, the other one looks like a pigging tea cosy, ah well...............

That there T'internet

The internet is just fab , OK I feel like I am stating the bleedin' obvious but today I tracked down and old friend from my University days via Facebook. He is an American boy and we were such good friends in my third year, I adored him (blush!), we had such good times.

So this morning I contacted him, and he answered and,well, it just made me happy. Let's face it, we all need happy eh? 

So this post is dedicated to my old friend Tom....

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a great new year, 2009 it's hard to believe isn't it!

I have really piled the pounds on over the festive season, I am OBSESSED with food. I have this mega urge to make stuff like bread for heaven's sake, and I will be dragging out my old soup recipe book very soon.

Dark goings on near where we live, you may have read that a lady out walking found a head in a bag on a footpath in Edinburgh. Well that find was less than a mile from our house, I wondered why the local footpath was cordoned off during a walk the other day......spooky and quite grisly. We saw all the forensics wandering about in their white suits on the path the other day too.

Just before Christmas I decided I needed to get back into my magazine work. I took a break, not knowing what effect my treatment would have. Since I have felt so well, I decided to get back into it and as a result all my lovely editors want me back, and I now have 4 commissions - yay!!

I spent yesterday making cards using Stampin' Up! Products and I am pleased with the results. Got to start work on another soon. 

Talking of Stampin' Up! ( I can never resist the chance of a promo!) they have a great offer on at the moment called Sale- A-Bration. Basically if you spend £45 or more (before postage) you can choose a free stamp set from a little brochure. If you are interested, send me an email and I will email you back a pdf of the brochure.

Yesterday I had a lovely surprise in the post, Julie Hickey sent me a beautiful handmade card to wish me a happy New Year -thanks Julie!!!