Monday, November 10, 2008

That Pea Ain't Gonna Rule Me

Saturday, I felt pretty darn low. I lay on the sofa under a blue blanket, weeping big silent tears, convinced that this darned "C" is gonna come back and get me.

But then I thought ........it was the size of a pea, it's out, and gone and now I am about to do the chemo thang to blast any "floaters" (ewwwwww-sorry toilet humour) out of my system. I have tied myself up in knots reading about statistics and all that depressing stuff, but last Friday I visited the Maggies centre at the Western General Hospital. I spoke (through lots of tears) to a lovely lady who said "statistics don't really mean a lot, they act as a guide, everyone is different and you can't compare yourself to others"

So OK I am still wishing I hadn't got this "thing", I am terrified of the consequences, but I just gotta get on with it now.

10:30 this morning I get my first dose of the chemo, apparently my wee will be red this time (yay!) There's a photo opp ha ha ha!!

In the meantime I have been cheering myself up with the latest India Knight book called "The Thrift Book", very interesting, lots of ideas and I love her writing style, she is very clever and very funny with it too. It's half price in Waterstones at the moment and I can't recommend it highly enough.

4 comments:

anita said...

i've been on vacation and just got a chance to catch up with your blog. Good luck with your first session today, my thoughts will be with you.
Don't start looking at statistics, don't go googling away...it's lethal! do what you can to keep your spirits high...whatever it takes! eat lots of antioxidant foods and take care of yourself!
If you want a little distracting, try reading the 'twilight' series of books (there's a link on my blog)...i'm finding those a good read.
anita
x

Julie said...

Just want to send you lots of hugs and to let you know I did all of this 6 years ago. The chemo isn't great but a means to an end. I did it through winter as well. lots of hats lol. I didn't throw up so hopefully you won't either. the anti sickness drugs are loads better than they used to be. Take care and don't forget retail therapy I'm still doing it. lol xxx

Jenni said...

Sorry to hear you have been feeling low and hope todays session hasn't made you feel to crappy. There's a little surprise on my new blog for you, go and take a look...
Jenni x

Aky said...

So how did it go big girl?
xx