Friday, October 09, 2009

Thank You Alan xxxx

A year ago today I heard the words no-one ever wants to hear, "you've got cancer". I can't believe how fast this year has gone, I'm out the other side now, a little older, fatter and I hope, wiser.

See, my cancer was a bit sneaky. It couldn't be felt by me or the 3 doctors that examined me, which is a very sobering fact. It was found when I had a mammogram, I was only 41, and the only reason I had it was because Alan had been for a company medical, a proper MOT from BUPA. He felt it unfair that he should have the benefit of a good looking over whilst I didn't. So he booked me in on the spot. The terrifying fact is that the lady who booked me in, asked if the mammogram was required since it was optional because of my age.............thank GOD he said yes to it.

I also had had this unshakeable belief that I was going to get cancer, don't ask me why, I just KNEW.

I was phoned a few days after the medical to get the mammogram re-done and at that point I knew I had cancer, this was my wake up call. The waiting was horrendous, even worse than the diagnosis really, since I was already convinced I had it.

My overriding thought was for my little boy, he was six years old at the time and all I could think of was that I would not see him grow up and become a teenager, a man. The fear I felt about this literally gripped my heart and paralysed me. I spent a night literally staring into space hardly daring to breathe I was so scared.

The diagnosis, surgery and treatment all happened very quickly. I had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, and to be honest it was all very bearable. My cancer was small, it was whipped out and hadn't spread to my nodes, so VERY lucky call indeed.

I lost my hair, but didn't spend months with my head down the bog. I gained weight, and I am now in menopause. BUT who cares? I am one of the lucky ones, I am still here to tell the tale, and hope to be for many many years to come.

So, one year on, my life is different, I do have a genuine lust for life that I've never had before. I have amazing friends and family and every day really is a gift.

Thanks for sticking with me over the last year, many of you have posted lovely comments which I really appreciate. But now it's time to move on, time to put this behind me, cancer had nearly 12 months of my life and it ain't getting any more........................all I need to say is "thank you Alan, you pretty much did save my life xxxxxx"

7 comments:

Aky said...

And now you made me cry again, with a lump in my throat. Hope the next twelve months is full of happy, shiny days for you xx

Jan said...

Oh Sam, what can I say (there are tears in my eyes reading this). But you're right it's had twelve months of you and no more!!
Those words you have written are so strong and gives us a glimpse, just a blink of what you have gone through. But you have come through - thank god and good to read now about the rest of your life.
Kia kaha (be strong) Sam (as ever).
Take care, lots of love and hugs from your friends down under xoxoxo

wee-h said...

As i said on the other post - inspirational! I've a lump in my throat.

I'm hoping that my boy's gran does just as well as you do. Oh and i recently got to Dr Karen Vousden (top bod in cancer research) the other day, another inspirational lady...

FauxPainter - Dee Paramour said...

It's just the best news ever. A finished chapter whith a big and bold full stop at the end. And now the start of a new one. I have to say eating raw anything out of the sea is going a little too far for my tastes, but the adventurer inside you is off to a flying start. What next?

Luv Dee xxx

Anonymous said...

I'm crying too. Well done on fighting through it xx

Helen said...

I'm so happy to read this - you've done so well!

Muckyfingers said...

Lovely lady we are so happy you're still here. The world is a sparklier place for you xXx